Things Every Church Youth Group (and HLGU student) Should Know

I loved growing up in a Southern Baptist church. I loved my youth group. I loved the men and women who loved me just for being a kid. I loved working at a Baptist college. I loved the era of homogeneity and respect, where being a Christian was a fine thing in society. Those days are history. Now, being a Christian is foolishness to the world, as in the Apostle Paul’s day - except in some places, the hedges are high, and the livin’ is easy - like most Christian schools and church youth groups.

Here are some things you should know if you’ve been behind that hedge:

1.    Your youth pastor probably didn’t prepare you for real life very well. I could be wrong, I hope I am, but the pressure on youth leaders to make everything fun and inclusive makes it hard for them to develop biblically literate disciples. Coke and pizza and rallies are fine, but this is a life of Jesus obedience we’re preparing for, not how to be good members of the Kiwanis club. If you can’t articulate sound doctrine or even why you should need to, then you haven’t been taught, you’ve been entertained.

2.      You probably did not learn to really embrace the outsider. Churches want to protect their kids and part of that is to separate them from bad influences. Our methods are subtle but effective – activity costs that the poor can’t afford, faith-speak that unchurched kids don’t understand, works-based theology that shames the outsider. And one mistake can make a former insider an outsider. It makes sense to every parent but contradicts the life of Christ. I’m not talking about recruiting tokens to match the worldly demand for diversity. I’m talking about being intentional about what circles you draw around yourself.

3.      You may have missed that “grace” part. Elders want you to behave for good reason. If you hold out on experimenting with alcohol, sex, and rough living, you are indeed more likely to have better health and fewer regrets as you age. So, the religion becomes all about good behavior, to avoid the possibility of the consequences of delinquency. The biblical rationale is often glibly assumed, rather than articulated. To forgive and accept a backslider becomes the equivalent of endorsing the sin and turning your back on important moral teaching. The slick slope from being good to being judgmental is hard for all of us to navigate, but it is a skill to be mastered.

4.      You probably got taught “the equation”. Be faithful and good things will happen. Keep your virginity and you’ll have a great marriage and amazing sex life. Tithe and you’ll be financially blessed. If you seek God’s will it will be revealed to you with certainty. Faithfulness for the sake of reward is not what being a Christ follower is about. That’s just cultural and behavioral conditioning. Expect hardship, rejection, testing, and watching your plans turn to dust. It’s not about you, it’s about a sovereign God using you for His purpose.

5.      You were conditioned to measure your religion by feelings. I like a spiritual high as much as the next guy, but I don’t live for it. That’s idolatry. When I hear someone say they didn’t feel God’ presence I wonder what button God forgot to push for them. You don’t move forward only when you see a pillar of fire ahead of you to validate your faith - that's the opposite of faith. If God is omnipresent, then He’s where you are.

6.      You don’t have to be a missionary to be a missionary. There is an idea that if you’re not a pastor or missionary or youth minister then you’ve missed the highest calling. There’s no doubt that those vocations are unique and honorable, but if you can’t be faithful to live and share the gospel as the Lord provides opportunity when you’re working part-time in the kitchen at Wendy’s, what makes you think you’ll do it with a religious title?  If you can’t live as a Christ follower while sweeping the floor or laying asphalt, don’t expect magic in the pulpit.

7.      You were never told when you reached manhood. Women have a biological advantage over men in terms of maturity and identification with adulthood. Our changing voice and body hair doesn’t shift our gears from child to man. In our culture what does? The Jewish boy stands and says “Today I am a man” at 13, the native American goes on a vision quest, a tribal African may get his teeth filed or kill a beast or get a bone in his nose, but what does the American teenager do? Is it the driver’s license, the first time having sex, turning 18 and registering for the draft, the first legal drink at 21? We don’t know, but we should. This extended adolescence mentality is ridiculous.

8.      You may have been encouraged to read the Bible, but you weren’t taught how to study it. There’s more to the discipline of Bible reading than a daily devotion. There’s never been more readily available study aid and commentary than now. You’ve probably not read any “Christian” book written before you were born. Not knowing how or why to use research results in creating devotionals and sermons from “what this passage says to me” point of view, which is the weakest and most horrible basis for biblical understanding.

9.      You were told to pray for a marriage partner, but not how to survive marriage. Sure, you’re going to find a fine Christian person to marry. But that still brings two selfish sinners together who need skill to navigate the thing. The high expectations for a blessed union contain the seeds of disappointment. Marriage is great. But it’s not easy. Part of our doctrinal and biblical illiteracy is to blame. We are so tainted by our culture’s evolving definitions of love, family, and marriage that now, more than ever, we need a deep understanding of how a marriage is a picture of God’s character and plan, not just a way for two people to have guilt-free sex and find emotional fulfillment. You can’t know everything you need to know before you get married, you just need to know that you’re not going to know all you need to know.

10.  You learned to hide your sin. Being a good example and not disappointing your Christian parents and friends is a worthy goal. It is so highly valued that it can become an end in itself. Your soul is secure, but your body and brain face the same urges and temptations and curiosities of anyone else. You expect that failing your own standards doesn’t go over well with your spiritual mentors (we’re good at shooting our wounded), so confessing isn’t an option. Even worse, you may be so dependent on your emotions as your guide, that you disregard your religious instruction and become your own exception to the rule. Both lead to hypocrisy – which is regarded by the world as the greatest transgression – so you manage by living two lives and praying they never meet.